Focus: Re Visited

So very sorry to have not responded before now to your last posting!

I was having trouble focusing...(lol)

I read the blog entry that inspired this question (I think) and I can't say I have a solution for you, but I can tell you that its not just you!! That's right...YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Funks come and funks go like all the other ebbs and flows in our lives. Sometimes I can remember just that and its sufficient to get me through. But other times, it falls way short of benefiting. Not a comfort, but more of a sentence to even more drudgery!

And these funks creep up on me these days...seeming to jump me from a dark alley while trudging the road of happy destiny!
They cause me to look backwards with longing to the day when it was otherwise: the days when "joy (was) my beacon" (borrowed the phrase with gratitude from CrystalClearPersuasion ).
And I'm surely not appreciating the NOW when I'm looking backwards!

I mean, c'mon...let's face it: if I was embracing the NOW, would I be in a funk? Hmm...

Survey says, "probably not".

Most of the time, its a pervasive melancholy that bleeds outwards from the inside. So the things that aggravate and irritate are not the source of the funk-its internal. The things that bother me are the things that require me to focus and when I'm down, my energy is drained. There is no joy to fuel my life. The energy I DO have is more of a survival type energy. Someone once told me that they felt as though they were "sleepwalking through life"... that putting one foot in front of the other was the extent of their efforts because that was all they had to go on.

I GET THAT-it seems to be along the same lines.

While I'm in that funk? I find myself wondering if I will ever get back to the colors that I used to find in life and the joy that buoyed my spirit.

I close my eyes to sleep and dream with the hope that when they open on tomorrow, the world will be in focus and clear again, with a full spectrum of colors to breathe in again.

Focus

What do you do to re-focus yourself? I'm having a tough time staying "here" and in the moment.

Passing it on....

Hello posters!

I found a Stumbler that is a newbie to living a day at a time, but WOW! what writing abilities! :)

Here is one of his postings, which I read on my reader:

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Life outside the safe zone

91 Days

Life outside the safe zone

91 Days

I had a really nice weekend. The weather was beautiful. My brother had a dinner party Saturday night and we had guests over for Easter. Both dinners were beautiful and the guests were great. I felt a bit of confidence return to my conversational abilities. I once was a skilled a skillful and charming conversationalist but since I let my life slip away, that skill went with it. Or so it seems.

This is really just an example of how my confidence has eroded across the board. When I had to concern myself with getting better, with not using and riding out the physical effects of a sudden detoxification that occurred when I quit using, I had something that occupied my thoughts 24/7. I was either feeling joyous because I come to believe I could quit, or I was feeling sick because I had. I had no time to think about regaining confidence. I did not realize I had lost any.

Now I know I don't want to use drugs. I know I want a life and I know what kind of life I want. But to get to this point, I have, with the help of friends and family, created a safe zone. I have a place to live, food to eat and therapeutic support. I volunteer. I spend time writing on the Web. I correspond with friends. I love to go to the library, sometimes just because it is a destination, a safe place to go to. This is a very adequate but very temporary state of existence.

If I am to have a full and productive life I have to travel outside the safe zone, forge new relationships, repair old ones and maintain the few I have. I have to not only know my purpose but determine where and how I will fulfill that purpose. I will have to be in, associate with and negotiate situations and circumstances that will be less safe in terms of using meth. I will have to rely on my own unsupported fortitude to navigate the big bad world and THAT is frightening. Furthermore, I will have to deftly navigate a myriad of processes and also patiently endure them.

Doubt begins to haunt me as I give thought to my fears and with that thought, my attention. I am afraid.

Joy is my beacon.

Posted by Wayward Son at 9:26 PM

Late Easter

HAPPY LATE EASTER YA'LL!!!

One song

Try this then...

Just this one song~
God Rest In Reason

I know, I know...I'm biased, but
the boy can surely write and sing!! :)
Listen to the lyrics....

Shiny Songs