Focus: Re Visited

So very sorry to have not responded before now to your last posting!

I was having trouble focusing...(lol)

I read the blog entry that inspired this question (I think) and I can't say I have a solution for you, but I can tell you that its not just you!! That's right...YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Funks come and funks go like all the other ebbs and flows in our lives. Sometimes I can remember just that and its sufficient to get me through. But other times, it falls way short of benefiting. Not a comfort, but more of a sentence to even more drudgery!

And these funks creep up on me these days...seeming to jump me from a dark alley while trudging the road of happy destiny!
They cause me to look backwards with longing to the day when it was otherwise: the days when "joy (was) my beacon" (borrowed the phrase with gratitude from CrystalClearPersuasion ).
And I'm surely not appreciating the NOW when I'm looking backwards!

I mean, c'mon...let's face it: if I was embracing the NOW, would I be in a funk? Hmm...

Survey says, "probably not".

Most of the time, its a pervasive melancholy that bleeds outwards from the inside. So the things that aggravate and irritate are not the source of the funk-its internal. The things that bother me are the things that require me to focus and when I'm down, my energy is drained. There is no joy to fuel my life. The energy I DO have is more of a survival type energy. Someone once told me that they felt as though they were "sleepwalking through life"... that putting one foot in front of the other was the extent of their efforts because that was all they had to go on.

I GET THAT-it seems to be along the same lines.

While I'm in that funk? I find myself wondering if I will ever get back to the colors that I used to find in life and the joy that buoyed my spirit.

I close my eyes to sleep and dream with the hope that when they open on tomorrow, the world will be in focus and clear again, with a full spectrum of colors to breathe in again.